1. It is obvious that the title Hard to Place is taken from the description of the
Spaulding adoption agency as one for “hard to place children.” Does this title reverberate
in other ways throughout the book?

2. Discuss how Marion’s experience in the delivery room, when she became aware of
losing John, was transformed for her into a “gift of loss.”

3. On page 19, Marion states that as a result of writing the poem about the loss of
John, “absence and presence were co –mingled.” Discuss this statement.

4. As a result of their early deprivation, there were risks encountered with the decision
to adopt Kurt and Eddie. Does the family’s experience confirm or refute the
wisdom of taking these risks?

5. Marion acknowledges that she and Bob lied to the children in order to present the idea
of adoption in a favorable light. Why do you feel this was appropriate or inappropriate?

6. There are references in the story to the inability to cry: Marion’s holding back tears
from the family after losing John; Kurt and Eddie’s stoic behavior until the breakthrough
moment when on page 77, they do cry. Discuss the statement that “…this
is the day trust was born.”

7. On page 80, Marion talks about “compassionate action.” How is this concept
incorporated into her story of spiritual development?

8. Discuss Marion’s reasoning on page 113, that to end the marriage would have hurt
the children more.

9. Discuss the role of music in Kurt and Eddie’s life.

10. How was Bob able to help Kurt when he went through his own addiction problems?
How was Kurt’s development of the disease alike or different from Bob’s?

11. How were the five children’s relationships to each other demonstrated? How did
they support each other?

12. Discuss the strong threads of coincidence throughout the book: (page 138) glass
falling out of light fixture; (page 164) the fact that after a quarter of a century, some
unseen force had motivated three segments of the family to seek each other out; (page
256) Eddie suddenly pulling his car to the side of the road and the subsequent discovery.

13. In view of recent exposes of orphaned children and children being trafficked, did
you believe there was anything to Lucienne’s claim to the boy’s that they had been kidnapped when they were toddlers?

14. How do Eddie’s letters, one to his biological mother on page 184 and the other
to Marion on page 229 reflect the personal transitions Eddie underwent as a result
of learning the truth about his past?

15. On page 181, Marion, speaking about Lucienne states she wanted “to tear her
eyes out.” How does Marion ultimately resolve and let go of these negative feelings?

16. Discuss Kurt and Eddie’s reaction to meeting long lost relatives versus their reaction
to meeting Allen Morton.

17. How does Dennis and Beth’s adoption of Annie reinforce the message of the book?

18. One of the questions that memoirs are subject to is whether the truth has been
clearly presented or whether embellishments take it beyond non-fiction. How well
do you think the author remains authentic?